I want to live in a world where women and men are equal. I am lucky to live in a house where that is the case. We make joint (and therefore better) decisions about everything, have joint responsibilities for everything (yes including the house and kids) and have richer happier lives because we plan, dream and reminisce together, as equals. In a week where one of us is busier with work, the other may do all the cooking and childcare, but another week those roles may be reversed. We each have as many male as female friends.
I am lucky though to live in this house, as a product of my/our parents enlightened upbringing, and in this society. Sadly we are in a huge minority globally.
This might not seem important, but it really is. Evidence shows that it has almost always been the women who provide the basic necessities for their families. Day in day out it was prehistoric woman who fed her children, supplemented occasionally by feast when the men made a major kill, but they failed more often then not, and it was the berries, roots and fruits gathered by the women that nourished the children daily.
Even in Britain according to The Joseph Rowntree Foundation, family benefits paid to mothers are more likely to be spent on children whereas men are more likely to spend the money on themselves. In the developing world this is even more likely. Women whose rights are not protected and who are subjugated within the home have little say over the spending of male income, much of which is often squandered on good times and drugs (often culturally acceptable ones) with other men. Men sit around in groups smoking, drinking alcohol or coffee in nearly every culture while women stay at home trying to make ends meet. Men buy drink, new toys (motorbikes, boats whatever) and women buy clothes, and shoes for their children, books and pencils or toys (for the children!)
Give money to women, ideally as payment for work they do, and that money is spent on food, clothing and perhaps most importantly of all on education. Empowering women is one of the keys to developing and civilising. Male children with strong female role models inevitably grow up respecting women more. Female children grow up aware of their potential and happier with their place in the world.
Weaving Hope is a business inspired by women. We as a family were travelling in Sri Lanka volunteering in a school our children attended. While there we met one of the most inspiring women we know. Sandra is a solicitor, but just a normal day job is not sufficient. She is also the Managing Director of the schools we were involved with, and is currently in the process of building and developing new premises for them (they were severely overcrowded). These new buildings are state of the art eco-buildings, but she has had to battle (male) bureaucracy every step of the way. Even this is not enough. Sandra felt a strong responsibility for her community. She came from a once eminent family who had lost their shine down the years, with one of her ancestors having drunk away the family fortune and good name. As a young woman she brought up her younger brother, while completing her own education and with a fierce determination to restore the family’s position in the community.
In rural Sri Lanka the ordinary women are very subservient to their men. They work hard cooking meals from scratch, endlessly tidying and making do with what they have. Weaving is a strong local craft but one that has been exploited by the west, and with factories all over Sri Lanka and other parts of Asia the value of cloth has fallen. Sandra set her eyes of rectifying this. She realised that if she could develop her own factories, products made from cloth could give value to the weaving. Her factories employ mostly women, dying, hand weaving and then critically making products from the cloth they produce. They are Fair Trade, and with the wage going to the women, the money goes to the heart of the families. Having been invited by her around the factories and having sat with the workers, we were inspired to help. Some of the money made by her weaving business goes back to supporting the schools she is trying to build. Women and education again you see.
Sandra’s story would not be out of place in the Half the Sky book, being promoted with the powerful tag line, “Women aren’t the problem their the solution!”
Some businesses exploit their workers, and others empower them. Which do you want to support? Where do you want your hard earned money to go? Fair Trade businesses, especially those that employ women ensure that when you spend you are not only buying for and providing for your family, but for other families the world over.
I am lucky to share the responsibility for our family and not feel exclusively burdened by that responsibility, to have a partner who helps me find our way through life. And yes there are things that tend to get classified as Blue (especially if they involve cold, wet or heavy) or Pink (organised, co-ordinated or tidy!), but we are equal, and both a whole lot happier because of that.